I haven't posted anything in at least a year, so sorry if I bore you.
A lot of pretty intense stuff has happened to me in the past few weeks. Where to start ..?
I've had a really, really bad cough for the last few months, and I was puking and having nose bleeds a lot, and when I went to my hairdressers she said that I had a bald patch (!). I went to the GPs and got given some gross banana medicine and some even worse steroid tablets. I also had an x-ray and a few blood tests.
The blood tests came back fine, though my arm hurt a bit from the needle (it didn't help that the guy doing it admitted he was scared of needles too!). However, the x-ray showed that here was something small behind my sternum (a bone in my chest) that shouldn't be there, but I was chilled as they said it was probably just a bruise.
That was maybe two months ago.
I went in on Monday for a CT scan just to check it was all OK, but on Tuesday I was called back into hospital because there was a possibility I had Thymoma Cancer. That was when everything started to go wrong.
I stayed at my emergency hospital until around midnight, when the emergency ambulance came to take me to a better one. I had the blue flashing lights and sirens on, even though it was so late, and I was just laughing inside at all the people who must have been woken up by it.
I had to stay in hospital overnight for ages. On Wednesday my friend came to visit me, even though the hospital is a hour away. On Thursday I was given a general anesthetic to put me to sleep while they put a PICC line (a straw going up my vein) and a biopsy (which is when they take out part of the lump to grow it and see what is turns into for my diagnosis).
Life hint: avoid biopsies. They HURT.
I was given a strong painkiller and some morphine (which works but makes you constipated).
Anyway on Friday I was discharged for the weekend (yay!) and on the way home I visited my friend's house because it was her birthday. She was so excited to see me, it was like I was a famous celebrity or something!
I went to her bowling party on Saturday which was hilarious because I beat her bowling with the wrong hand and I suck at bowling. Like, seriously, that was the first time I've ever won bowling before.
I went to school for a week, and got given about 50 sets of colouring books and pencils, which was funny, but I really appreciate it, especially as I have barely spoken 5 words to some of the people who gave them to me before.
Then I had to go back for a PET scan and another CT scan which involved being radioactive in the nuclear medicine department and then lying down for 30 mins being completely still, which made my hands numb.
Me and my parents had a meeting with my Head of Year at school, and I was given permission to dye my hair red by the Head Teacher, seeing as my hair is probably going to fall out, with no guarantees of ever coming back.
I went back to hospital on Monday a week later, because the doctors said that it definitely was NOT a bruise, or Thymoma, it was Hodgekins Lymphoma Cancer. Stage 2 A. I started chemotherapy treatment that Monday.
So yeah, that was pretty intense. I just got so scared the week in hospital. Not because of my diagnosis -for some reason I always thought I would get cancer- but just because I didn't feel like me, if you know what I mean. I just didn't feel right.
Also, despite my much larger problems, I was just really annoyed that my hair would probably fall out. Isn't it enough that cancer has to take away my health, but my dignity too!!!
Just to clarify, I am NOT one of those girls who is obsessed with her looks -far from it!- but I just hate the idea of being bald, like everyone can see my weaknesses.
Bye for now,
Mitt xox
No comments:
Post a Comment